Vacation schedules are tough and very exciting. You begin to imagine being at your destination and what it will be like there. About two and a half weeks ago I was in just the same position. My event was coupled with a heart rendering as I was once again going to see my Father who is terminally ill with cancer. I realize that a funeral is a celebration of ones leaving this World of hatred, deceit and the attacks by the evil one at every turn. So why do we cry at funerals? It is out of the selfish desire to have our loved one back? Or could it be as a result of guilt that you did not do enough for this person while they were on Earth? As we try to become close to Christ are we doing it at the cost of others.
This was my second trip to my Fathers area and I was taken aback by his thinness as well as his unsteady walk as well as his memory which was exceptionally poor. We went to a salad bar restaurant and instead of getting a salad he went to a taco bar, of course he had to be told and turned around. When you see this thing happening (I am his only child) it is shocking to see the body literally attacked by this condition.
Like I said it was my second trip in two months because we last trip had to leave a child behind to see after our house and our six puppy dogs. This trip was to get the one who stayed home last time a chance to see his Grand Father before he passes from this world to the next. However this trip was extra special in that my son and his wife flew in from Alaska with their two month old daughter Shaylynn. It was the first chance I and my wife got to see our Grand Child and the first and likely last look at his Great Grand Daughter. He was just as happy that the kids joined the Catholic faith and he got to see his Great Grand Daughter Baptised. My wife and I were selected to be God Parents but I asked the honor to be given to my Father. He would be a God Parent to his own Grand Daughter. This perhaps was the most significant time of his life. His entire family from Son to Great Grand Daughter were now members of the body of Christ (Catholic Church) a desire above all for him.
I was listed as a second God Father on the certificate to assume my Father's place when his last day has come. However somehow I just knew this would be the last time I would get to see him alive as I feel that his work here on Earth has just been completed in his eyes. My Father expressed so many regrets from the time he was raising me. I assured him that he was a Great Father and had nothing to be sorry for. My Mother abandoned me at 2 years old on my Grand Mother's doorstep. I was malnourished to the point of having fainting spells from the lack of nutrition in my body. I do not blame my Mother she gave me birth however she was in this condition at 19 and could not handle it. She was alone her husband serving in Vietnam and knew if she did not give me up either her or I would die. It was a sacrifice of love. My Grand Mother took me in and by the time I was six she was Mom to me and I grew very close to her and I loved her very much. My Father came home in 1968 with a condition that disabled him completely. He had to move to Colorado to be near a VA Center and so I was placed in the home of my Uncle Ken and Aunt Maxine now. They are both gone but I loved the a great deal also.
Finally my Father was well enough to get a home for us to live as well as get married again. This was a hard time for me as I went from only child to one of 9 children. This was perhaps the most terrible time of my life. My Father began to heavily drink and he became at time violent with my step mother and the fight would be in front of us kids most times. They would eventually make up but I paid the cost of the fight as my step mother was very abusive to her kids anything was in play be it electric cords,boards with nails or even dishes. I still bare a scar from where she shattered a Pyrex cake pan over my head. To describe this time was awful and we will leave it at that as that when step mother was mad at me it turned into a game of dog pile as ever step brother or sister jumped in.
They finally got a annulment and went their separate ways. After this point we were back in with my Grand Mother but for a very short time. My Father finally bought a house of our own. The drinking issue was still there however and would not go away until well after I joined the US Army.
One night on my 15 birthday he called me into the kitchen and poured two shots. He "Well you are now a man and what you do is up to you as that we are no longer a Father/Son team. We are just to bachelor"s "batching it". He said the only thing you must do is graduate high school and beyond that it is all on you. My Father was not one to say I love you or good job, But he would praise me through the roof. At about 19 I joined the Army and spent 13 years of happiness in the military, however as time went by and world events changed I was no longer needed by the military and sent packing home in 1992 along with almost 99 percent of the other NCO's with me.
The rest of my life was both good and bad and I existed on the edge of self-destruction for many years. I had no back up plan in place. I was in El Paso Texas with 4 kids and a minimum wage job as 80 percent of these people spoke Spanish and I did not. So as you can see was he perfect no, did he do the best he could yes. That is what God asks of us to do our best. We can never be perfect all we can do is try as Paul wrote "Oh curse this body that does what it should not but does not do what it should" He was saying do the best you can and Jesus is there no matter what. I spent allot of time with my Dad telling him he was a good Father and I did not want him to carry any regrets when it was his time to go home. That statement in my hearts of hearts was true and I regretted nothing nor held anger for anything he ever did. He was my Father and was my guide. I love him like no other and know that when he comes to Jesus he will allow him to go on because in his weakest time he offered up his pain to the Church and accomplished his mission. He had saved the souls of his entire family and brought everybody back to the Body of Christ. Who would not love such a hero as that?
As a last listing for today's issue I would like to point out some things to see in Denver or New Mexico that are neat and sharp. The first is a salute out to our Border Patrol People as they guard the borders of this nation with their lives at steak most of the time.
Next friendliest hotel staff in Denver has to bet the Super 8 on 120th blvd they are helpful and courteous in a time when much of this is forgotten.
Best Lunch spot in Denver A Taste of Philly 92nd Ave and Washington.
Best dinner Joe's Crab Shack on Melody Dr.
Don't miss this! The Mother Xavier Cabrini shrine outside of Denver. 320 steps to get to the top (if you have mobility issues stop by the souvenir shop and they will give you a key that allows you to drive to the top. This is a glorious and beautiful site and should not be missed.
To All God Bless and see you here tomorrow by the mercy of God.
Best Hotel in Albuquerque NM the Studio 6 on Osuna St. great place close to attractions and are priced very very low. Three nights cost me around 106 dollars (would have been less if I booked early) Has two beds a fridge,stove top,dishes and not too bad of a cable TV line up.
Best Breakfast spot in Alb the Cracker Barrel just plain old good food with down home prices.
A return to serious just a sec here.
If you have a loved one that is dying do to a long illness remember tell them you love them and the were the best (whatever they were to you) in the world. If they express sadness over what they should have done and express regrets. Tell them they have nothing to be ashamed of. Remember somebody going to their world after this deserve to do so without any bad memories or doubts along the way
Even if you hate them make peace let them enter the kingdom of God with no hatred pointed their way. If you can't do at least that for somebody you hate then Christ is not in you despite what you may think.
Most people do not want to hear sympathy or your stories about how you know whats coming because your uncle died of it.
They want to die a good Catholic death...give it to them. And perhaps never forget a remembrance Mass as I intend to place a third relic in his pocket just before he dies. I realize it does no good but perhaps when he get there and looks down upon it on his lifeless body he will know that somebody loved him enough for two lifetimes together.
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