There are several rules that apply that can give you a boost in life. Notice I did not say a perfect life or a easy life because these things are not of this world. From our youngest ages we are told rules to live but, "don't touch that" or "share" and of course "do not tell a lie". I think the last one given is the first one we forget. We learn these rules when we are very young and then we are tossed out into the world (what we call Kindergarten) or the very first years of school, It is here we learn the structure of who's who on the playground and who you can whoop and who you can't. You learn the social structure of school who is cool and who is not also who is a geek and who is not. We survive in this world under this until around 18 years old.. It is here where the 50/50 rule comes in. fifty percent will continue to live by the schools well taught system and of course the fifty percent who learn to accept (or a least ignore those who bother us).
Then we enter the adult world and find out there are still about 10 percent who still follow the school taught rules and the rest begin to learn the rules of the real word. Now it is usually here we finally get to pick our own path in what we want to learn. Some go the way or the world. They learn to be cunning and deceptive at work and to backstabbing our way to the top. We sleep eat and go out with only those who will get us ahead. We cheat on taxes cause everybody does it and and how to get around all the things we don't want to do. We under these rules really live in a world of mistrust and suspicion and we often find that our life is perhaps the most unhappiness on Earth. These people often learn to be those who become rich and bitter and most unhappy with themselves as they do not like what they see in the mirror. This is not the way God wants us to be so lets look at some lessons we can learn to be a little happier in this life so when we look in the mirror we perhaps see (although incomplete).
My first example will of course be Jesus he was a prime example of love for all men and true obedience to his Father in Heaven. Right behind him will come Mary our ever virgin who taught us what real faith was, Now for some of these you may agree of disagree with so without further fan fare. we shall now set our sites on others. One of my favorites is St, Terese (little flower) she declared that her service was to serve God in the little things. She smiled all the time and was one to do any chore no matter how strong and serve it up to Christ. St Bernadette and Padre Pio both with a faith so child like they were often criticized for such a uncomplicated and simple belief.
There have been those among the saints and others who have been attacked, subjected to torture and hate and scorn. Yet they have carried these torments without complaint or displeasure. Instead they carried these in joy for they knew that in these ways of carrying their cross they were becoming closer to what meant everything to them, Christ. All of these people had given up on the world and separated themselves from it and served only Christ who to them was more important than a thousand worlds. The average American household contains: 3 televisions, 2 telephones, 2 cars, 2 computers, 2 children, 2 pets and on average a home that is worth on average 250,000 dollars. Worldly goods will keep us out of Heaven and if we have to rely on getting in through the eye of the needle we are in for some issues. Yet all these Saints and great believers realized what is difficult to realize, that all these are temporary things and will not stand the test of eternity. Christ and our treasures in Heaven should be what we seek. The heavenly dream not the American dream!
Now it may seem hopeless in the midst of all this to ever believe you will go to Heaven, But thanks to God's mercy we are not lost for as our bodies do as we do not want them to do and our minds wander and dream throughout worship or prayer God knows our weaknesses and showers a unending supply of Mercy and grace as well as forgiveness upon us. When we go to reconciliation Mass we are freed of our sins and given us access to his presence once more. The only condition is that we are truly repentant and vow to try and never do these again. The additional benefit is we are allowed to take part in the Sacrament of Communion. Most know that this is where we as Catholics experience the very essence and presence of Christ. This portion of the body of Christ is so precious that only a Priest may prepare it and through the power of Christ. It is still forbidden for a regular human (non-Priest) to even touch lest it be desecrated. Now I know that Communion in the hand is authorized and in the earliest years of the Church was practiced 390 AD was practiced as described by Cyril of Jerusalem. So I have no issue with this. I personally will not take the Eucharist in the hand as I feel that I am farthest of all worth to touch the body and blood of Christ.
So what can you do here on Earth to build up treasures in Heaven. It may seem complicated but it is not. It is however very difficult for so,e including myself. First you must renounce this world and take no place in it. Keep all virtues as well as Commandments a part of your daily life and follow them. Strive not for knowledge but be content in all trials and difficulties. Call upon Christ often during these times for help and his protection to bring you through. Avoid all Mortal sin and attend The Mass of Reconciliation often. Remain humble in all things especially in serving others. Do these things for the glorification of Christ. Accept no rewards or praises for anything you do in service to Christ. If others speak of you cruelly let it not hurt or anger you, for this is a sign you are still attached to this world. Remember in all things you are but dirt and dust. Do not try to consider who is holier or even who goes to heaven or to Hell. God made us and it is for him to decide and not for any of us to question, for who among us can fathom the ways and judgements of God. Pray always and ask for intercessions as needed, however ponder not who is the greater of the two saints. For by doing this you anger both the saints and God our Father. We may take a step back and say " I could never do that". and doubt our own worthiness to enter eternity in the presence of Good, keep your eyes on his kingdom and know his mercy,forgiveness,love,and glories and blessings are endless.
Father in thy passing among us
do not forget us
When we stand before you on judgement throne
search our hearts and know our desire to be with you
remember our weakness and cast aside our sin
For you oh Lord know our hearts and minds
You know of our deepest desires and our failures.
Rescue us oh Lord from ourselves
strike down in us our love for this world
and our selfishness as we constantly follow
these two roads to sin. Help us Lord to seek you kingdom and no other
Grant us your peace Lord as we fight the battles
with the evil one and stand by us when we are weak.
And at the end of our time embrace us oh Lord as one of your own.
Amen
God Bless.
Posts may get a bit irregular over the next couple of weeks I will be in Colorado seeing my Father and praying it will not be the last time.
Sunday, July 31, 2011
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
What will you do for a klondike bar? or yourself for that matter.
If you ask 100 people what is the best way to understand Catholicism you are likely to get 100 different answers. Some will tell you to read the Gospels, others will say study the old writings of St Jerome or St Augustine. Others will say follow the Leco Divina or meditation on the words of Christ.. Some say follow the Ten Commandments and as you become more in line with the ways of Christ. Like I say there is a ton.To a new Catholic it can be a very confusing time especially during times of spiritual dryness that we all experience from time to time.
When I was just starting in my return to Catholicism I was determined to know everything about the faith and how I could be a more demonstrative Catholic and grow closer with Christ and The Blessed Virgin. I immediately went on a shopping spree to purchase all the books I thought I needed. I went hog wild I bought every book by Scott Hahn had written or helped to write. The Ignatius Study Bible, The Douay-Rheims Bible. The instant problem is this. if you buy 37 books on Catholicism you can't read all of them at the same time. In desperation I picked up a copy of Catholicism For Dummies. Not my favorite book I think I would rename it Buy This and You Are A Dummy. To beat the band 37 books 37 ways to become a better Catholic.
So I knew that reading would not be very functional at home with kids running around along with 6 dogs wanting to know why this book is more important than their tummy scratch time. So Mistake number two I went out and got a Kindle, not just any Kindle but the nine inch screen model that has better memory and can be set to make your coffee in the morning. So what do you do with a brand new Kindle. You buy e-books of course. They are cheaper than the hard cover copies and download in a second. On top of that you can obtain books under the subject of Catholic which is a great help. There are over 1300 books under Catholic and I did my best to buy the majority. The trick to Kindles is as you buy these e-books you can loose track of what you are spending. So at this point I will stop because in my fervor to be a better Catholic I tallied up quite a bill.
So I had over 90 books total and still no greater understanding of how to become a better Catholic. It was at this point that one of those spiritual dryness time came. With no defense and no plan for these times I was buried in the tidal wave. Soon the opinion of yourself and your attempts to be a better Catholic fails you and it is at this point you feel your worst. The good news is you are humbled by this experience the bad is allot of Catholic quit at this point. Many go to one of the many "Don't Worry Be Happy Churches". One stop salvation shopping at it's best. You almost can see the Wal-Mart sign in the parking lot. Buy here and get instantly saved no matter what you do later. While I did not go to "The Church of Fuzzy Bunny Hugs". By the way if you do go to one of these churches remember if you smell carrots and don't see any around you, it's just a bunny fart. I'm not picking on these churches in a bad way I leave their Dogma alone but I can't resist a little humor about them as we all poke fun at each other in one way or another. However not always the bunny hug church here attacks Catholicism constantly. It could be that the Pastors parents are Catholic. His Father was a 4th Degree Knight and his other three brothers are all strong Catholics. Needless to say there has to be a chip on the shoulder somewhere.
Finally I got tired of flopping around and came up with the answers that worked for me. First yes study the four Gospels but concentrate on what Jesus said and did and meditate upon his passion often. Also remember the words of our Mother Mary never has a faith been so pure. Second drag out you Catechism of the Catholic Church read it word for word and reopen the joy you had at being introduced to the Church all over again. Now here if you want you can also use the Baltimore Catechism. I don't recommend it as a first step but it does represent the Church before Vat II. Pick up a copy if the Imitation of Christ read this slowly and learn from it. If their is a better road map to getting closer to God second to the Bible I don't know one. It looks at things step by step and breaks it down for you. Finally Pray,Pray and Pray. God enjoys hearing from us and likes a little conversation. So pray and then spend some quiet time listening. You might be surprised at the result.
all along the way however, if you slip get up ask God's ever present help and then continue on. Never give Satan the victory, he has no ability except to harass you at every turn and get you to a point of spiritual inactivity. It is this he obtains victory,
Until next time God Bless you all and reach for God in all things. Without him you can do nothing, with him you can do anything. Remember the Mustard seed!
When I was just starting in my return to Catholicism I was determined to know everything about the faith and how I could be a more demonstrative Catholic and grow closer with Christ and The Blessed Virgin. I immediately went on a shopping spree to purchase all the books I thought I needed. I went hog wild I bought every book by Scott Hahn had written or helped to write. The Ignatius Study Bible, The Douay-Rheims Bible. The instant problem is this. if you buy 37 books on Catholicism you can't read all of them at the same time. In desperation I picked up a copy of Catholicism For Dummies. Not my favorite book I think I would rename it Buy This and You Are A Dummy. To beat the band 37 books 37 ways to become a better Catholic.
So I knew that reading would not be very functional at home with kids running around along with 6 dogs wanting to know why this book is more important than their tummy scratch time. So Mistake number two I went out and got a Kindle, not just any Kindle but the nine inch screen model that has better memory and can be set to make your coffee in the morning. So what do you do with a brand new Kindle. You buy e-books of course. They are cheaper than the hard cover copies and download in a second. On top of that you can obtain books under the subject of Catholic which is a great help. There are over 1300 books under Catholic and I did my best to buy the majority. The trick to Kindles is as you buy these e-books you can loose track of what you are spending. So at this point I will stop because in my fervor to be a better Catholic I tallied up quite a bill.
So I had over 90 books total and still no greater understanding of how to become a better Catholic. It was at this point that one of those spiritual dryness time came. With no defense and no plan for these times I was buried in the tidal wave. Soon the opinion of yourself and your attempts to be a better Catholic fails you and it is at this point you feel your worst. The good news is you are humbled by this experience the bad is allot of Catholic quit at this point. Many go to one of the many "Don't Worry Be Happy Churches". One stop salvation shopping at it's best. You almost can see the Wal-Mart sign in the parking lot. Buy here and get instantly saved no matter what you do later. While I did not go to "The Church of Fuzzy Bunny Hugs". By the way if you do go to one of these churches remember if you smell carrots and don't see any around you, it's just a bunny fart. I'm not picking on these churches in a bad way I leave their Dogma alone but I can't resist a little humor about them as we all poke fun at each other in one way or another. However not always the bunny hug church here attacks Catholicism constantly. It could be that the Pastors parents are Catholic. His Father was a 4th Degree Knight and his other three brothers are all strong Catholics. Needless to say there has to be a chip on the shoulder somewhere.
Finally I got tired of flopping around and came up with the answers that worked for me. First yes study the four Gospels but concentrate on what Jesus said and did and meditate upon his passion often. Also remember the words of our Mother Mary never has a faith been so pure. Second drag out you Catechism of the Catholic Church read it word for word and reopen the joy you had at being introduced to the Church all over again. Now here if you want you can also use the Baltimore Catechism. I don't recommend it as a first step but it does represent the Church before Vat II. Pick up a copy if the Imitation of Christ read this slowly and learn from it. If their is a better road map to getting closer to God second to the Bible I don't know one. It looks at things step by step and breaks it down for you. Finally Pray,Pray and Pray. God enjoys hearing from us and likes a little conversation. So pray and then spend some quiet time listening. You might be surprised at the result.
all along the way however, if you slip get up ask God's ever present help and then continue on. Never give Satan the victory, he has no ability except to harass you at every turn and get you to a point of spiritual inactivity. It is this he obtains victory,
Until next time God Bless you all and reach for God in all things. Without him you can do nothing, with him you can do anything. Remember the Mustard seed!
Monday, July 25, 2011
A note on at least this apologist
Hey all it is likely my post will be very short today (sorry had to wait for the cheering of the crowd to let up a little). I am a big fan of the web looking up pages on anything Catholic from The Catholic Church Canon to Prayer sites. In my searches yesterday however I ran across one thing that blew my mind. I ran across apologist sites that declare the Holocaust to be not real or fantasy and show a complete lack of support for Israel. In fact these sites actually go to the point of declaring Israel a criminal state as it does us also and declares we should be helping the Arabs toss the Israeli's out into the sea.
Really???!!! now who ever believes or feels this way ought to have his head examined. I mean they sound like the President of Iran, whats his name aborei'madunce well that is close enough. The Catholic Church is clear upon the principle that we are to respect all faiths and show god's love to everybody including our in-laws. On one apologist site it declared the existence of a world wide Jewish banking conspiracy in which they control all the wealth. Now I am a avid historian and those exact terms were spoken by Adolph Hitler circa 1938. This anti-semantic rhetoric is beyond belief I have had the pleasure of knowing many Jews. They are some of the kindest people I know and to even think of hating a whole race just because they are what they are is sad beyond measure. Having been to Germany and lived in Berlin for four years I found the German people to also be very kind and it is hard to see how a whole society slipped into madness on account of one man is hard to fathom.
Now had I saw this on just one site I would have said OK homebody's idea of a poor joke. However I ran into 4 such sites and I wanted to puke. Many of these web sites refer to our last 5 Popes to be Anti-Popes to include the Beatified John Paul II. It also goes as far to declare Vat II a conspiracy of Catholic Liberals to bring down the true church and replace it with what we have today according to these sites a church of heresy. If these sites claim to represent number 1 The Catholic Faith and number 2 The apologist function within the church it is no wonder when you say you are a Catholic Apologist some look at you like you came from Mars and others start forming lynch mobs.
So let us come to a understanding as to what a apologist like me believes. First off I will defend the Priesthood with my life and this includes all our Popes and yes the last four too. I will defend the faith against attacks where ever I find them. Even if The President of Iran aliyabbadabbadoiamaidiot attacks the truth of our faith. I do not look down upon the Jewish faith nor do I stand against Israeli's on the contrary I strongly support Israel. I do not hate the way the Catholic Church is today nor do I feel any heresy exists, my single difference with the church is it having left some of it's most important traditions (that are still on the books to follow). Veiling, certain prayers.certain body movements and certain actions that show a reverence for our Priesthood.
Vat69 was not a mistake however it was done in such away that the shock of losing the high mass was topped off by lies in the press that were never challenged. This led to a exodus of members of the Body of Christ to other churches or to just stay home and become inactive. We as a Church should NEVER surrender our traditions or our beliefs in anyway. There are other religions that have a much easier route to get to heaven. Accept God and wham your going to heaven no matter what. It is said being a Catholic is hard and I agree it is. But I would never trade my faith just because it is too hard to follow the rules. Finally a Catholic is taught to love each other as ourselves. This includes Muslims,Jews, and any other faith, creed or color you may come across. I still love the Latin Mass and hold the belief that our Priests should take a harder line when it comes to veiling of any other rules that might exist. Yet I would trade that for a Priest who spends his time on the Podium talking about Hell,Purgatory and heaven and how really sinful and unworthy we are.
As a Church we must teach truth not fluffy Bunny's hoping down the bunny trail. We need to address sin.piety.humility,cloth,gluttony.Hell (yes it is a real place) and Purgatory (This too is a real place) and of course Heaven. We need to teach our faith not what the people are comfortable with hearing. So I have her declared my desires for the Church and shown what some Neo-Nazi Skinhead believes is the real Roman Catholic Faith. I would never in my life spread lies about another religion even if I knew they were true. We can't go around attacking each other if we want to bring them home to the one true Church.
And just as I promised it is shorter than most. until next time I pray you may find the peace of God in your life and Christ lets his graces pour out of heaven upon you.
Really???!!! now who ever believes or feels this way ought to have his head examined. I mean they sound like the President of Iran, whats his name aborei'madunce well that is close enough. The Catholic Church is clear upon the principle that we are to respect all faiths and show god's love to everybody including our in-laws. On one apologist site it declared the existence of a world wide Jewish banking conspiracy in which they control all the wealth. Now I am a avid historian and those exact terms were spoken by Adolph Hitler circa 1938. This anti-semantic rhetoric is beyond belief I have had the pleasure of knowing many Jews. They are some of the kindest people I know and to even think of hating a whole race just because they are what they are is sad beyond measure. Having been to Germany and lived in Berlin for four years I found the German people to also be very kind and it is hard to see how a whole society slipped into madness on account of one man is hard to fathom.
Now had I saw this on just one site I would have said OK homebody's idea of a poor joke. However I ran into 4 such sites and I wanted to puke. Many of these web sites refer to our last 5 Popes to be Anti-Popes to include the Beatified John Paul II. It also goes as far to declare Vat II a conspiracy of Catholic Liberals to bring down the true church and replace it with what we have today according to these sites a church of heresy. If these sites claim to represent number 1 The Catholic Faith and number 2 The apologist function within the church it is no wonder when you say you are a Catholic Apologist some look at you like you came from Mars and others start forming lynch mobs.
So let us come to a understanding as to what a apologist like me believes. First off I will defend the Priesthood with my life and this includes all our Popes and yes the last four too. I will defend the faith against attacks where ever I find them. Even if The President of Iran aliyabbadabbadoiamaidiot attacks the truth of our faith. I do not look down upon the Jewish faith nor do I stand against Israeli's on the contrary I strongly support Israel. I do not hate the way the Catholic Church is today nor do I feel any heresy exists, my single difference with the church is it having left some of it's most important traditions (that are still on the books to follow). Veiling, certain prayers.certain body movements and certain actions that show a reverence for our Priesthood.
Vat69 was not a mistake however it was done in such away that the shock of losing the high mass was topped off by lies in the press that were never challenged. This led to a exodus of members of the Body of Christ to other churches or to just stay home and become inactive. We as a Church should NEVER surrender our traditions or our beliefs in anyway. There are other religions that have a much easier route to get to heaven. Accept God and wham your going to heaven no matter what. It is said being a Catholic is hard and I agree it is. But I would never trade my faith just because it is too hard to follow the rules. Finally a Catholic is taught to love each other as ourselves. This includes Muslims,Jews, and any other faith, creed or color you may come across. I still love the Latin Mass and hold the belief that our Priests should take a harder line when it comes to veiling of any other rules that might exist. Yet I would trade that for a Priest who spends his time on the Podium talking about Hell,Purgatory and heaven and how really sinful and unworthy we are.
As a Church we must teach truth not fluffy Bunny's hoping down the bunny trail. We need to address sin.piety.humility,cloth,gluttony.Hell (yes it is a real place) and Purgatory (This too is a real place) and of course Heaven. We need to teach our faith not what the people are comfortable with hearing. So I have her declared my desires for the Church and shown what some Neo-Nazi Skinhead believes is the real Roman Catholic Faith. I would never in my life spread lies about another religion even if I knew they were true. We can't go around attacking each other if we want to bring them home to the one true Church.
And just as I promised it is shorter than most. until next time I pray you may find the peace of God in your life and Christ lets his graces pour out of heaven upon you.
Sunday, July 24, 2011
It's all about me!
Too often we get in the mind frame of "nobody understands what I am going going through and I have it harder than anybody else". We complain at every little ache and pain or bump in the road of life, If we don't get the promotion we wanted it is because the person who got it is a bottom kisser or a politician or even he or she has done "favors" for the boss. If something does not go exactly like we want it to we often complain or call the manager and belittle the person who made a mistake or speak to the manager rudely to the point of being belligerent. Even after a apology it is not good enough and we are not satisfied until either it is free or we have attracted the attention of everybody in the room. We complain in the summer it is too hot. We complain in the winter that it is too cold. We talk to anybody who will listen how somebody has it better than you. It seem we are never satisfied with what we have.
Now I have one huge area where I am at my weakest point. I love electronics! Anything that is a electronic man toy I want and am just now coming to grips with this sin within me. Wait did I say sin? Yes I did. Wanting the latest technology in computers,cell phones or e-readers. when you have last years model is sin. It is akin to storing up treasures on Earth and will pull you away from your prayer life and in some ways it can pull you away from the most important thing in your life Christ himself. Now if you had read my posting yesterday I was doing just that when I wanted to trade up from my 6 inch screen kindle for the new kindle with a 9 inch screen. The first one cost me about 300 dollars 90 days ago by the time I bought all the do dads it needed. Then I saw the new,bigger and better Kindle total cost with do dads 450.00 with do dads and no book costs because I transferred them from my old to my new system. Now let us be honest 5 inch more screen and a little longer of battery life is no reason to buy this item.
Now I justified it by saying well it is easy to read and it can hold more books. Now let me be honest the smaller one was not that hard to read. I currently have 46 books on my kindle everything from The Canon of the Church to several versions of the Douay-Rheims Bible. several books by G.K. Chesterson all the way down to the Summa Theologica. I have enough books on my reader to keep me in reading material for several months. So why did I need more storage? It was a justification of the sin of want and desire not of the things of God but of Worldly goods. So you nor anybody else is alone in the battle of selfish interest and not seeking the ways of God. This is just a small section of the wide spectrum of time when we feel we either have it too hard, did not get what we deserved, received no understandings of our conditions and putting what we want in front of what God wants.
We all know what God does is for the good always if he is separated from you it is likely a test to see if you are ready to move to the next level of your relationship with him. But all to often we don't see this we pray.beg and swear to become a Priest or Nun if he would come back. Then the mind sets itself to self pity and all to soon nobody understands me. God by what he does always works for the good. He is God therefore he cannot do evil. He uses hard economic times to test and teach us. We don't see that but we complain harder than ever how hard we have it and how nobody understands what we are going through. Soon enough if we do not get out of this frame of mind comes depression pills and anxiety pills. Both because we brought it upon ourselves. Try this, the next time you hit a economic bump and you are having a hard time making your payments on your 3 bedroom home with 4 televisions in it, your two cars, satellite TV and enough food to get you by. Not enough to have the standards of dining you want, but enough to get by. I ask you to either think about or visit El Paso Texas and go to The University of Texas El Paso and stand in the south parking lot and look across the border and see what you see. You will see hundreds of shacks built out of cardboard with little cooking pipes sticking out of the tops. Every morning these pipes spew smoke into the morning air as breakfast is being prepared and I can assure you it is no where near the quality of food you eat or waste in a single day.
When we don't get everything just as we want it we complain stomp our feet and talk to whoever you can get a hold of like a dog. If you ever worked in a restaurant you've been on both sides of this one if you never had to work in a restaurant you don't know what that person is facing in their life. Perhaps she is a single Mother who is on her own because she refused to get a abortion like her family wanted. Her child was ill last night she makes minimum wage so she is on medicare and can't go to just any hospital. She got home at 4AM and had to be at work at 6AM afraid to call out sick because she may loose her job. Perhaps it was the man who last night at 11PM got a call that his best friend had been killed in Iraq and he went over to grieve and to comfort his friends parents because they were like Brothers growing up. He never got home he went straight from their house to work. Yet because a cherry was missing off their smiley face breakfast they get verbally beat in the dirt. Of course they would love to tell you what is going on but they can't (company policy) and as much as they would love to tell you just where to put that cherry when u get it, they have to just bow their heads because you have some issue that just made you mad.
Forgive the term you in this as I do not wish to accuse anybody as acting so. I use it to bring it into perspective so that if one day you are in the situation you may catch yourself and show more of God's love that your anger. Even the day God made for us we complain about it either it is too hot or too cold. We want to move out of the state that we live in and move to another state either because we like it there better or we can escape some problems by moving. Often although we claim the first the real reason is the second. We want what we don't have and have no use for what we do. There is the point of it all. We go to Mass and listen to statements time after time how God gives us all we need and we nod our heads like those little bobble head dogs you see in car windows. It leaves our heads just a second after we hear it and it is gone. We thank God for little in our lives yet complain about almost anything. Is our generation so selfish that we have forgotten who gives us all good things and declare them not good enough for us.
My wife always gets upset with me at restaurants because if the order is not right I don't complain. I just eat it as is and I am happy. The only time I will remind my server is if a drink or a main meal is missing. However I am NEVER rude. It is number one against my nature (thank heavens I fall way to short of God's path than to have another issue added) number two I have been there restaurant work is difficult and the average waitress or waiter in a Denny's or IHOP or Village Inn make (unless they have a law like New Mexico) make just over 3 dollars a hour because the Government says they make the rest on tips to make up the difference between that and minimum wage.
One of the first and hardest things to do is to give up what we own and be happy with what Christ has given us. I read somewhere that God destines some to be rich and others to be poor. The poor ones are blessed as they never have to deal with the issue of wealth. Now when I say give up what we own I mean it in the terms of not giving inn to our desires for possessions as it is not likely anybody could sell all he owns and have his family on the street. I often think back to that 398 dollar Kindle and hang my head in shame. 328 Dollars could have done allot at a battered woman's home or at a rescue mission or to buy groceries for somebody in need. We have to learn to thank God for ALL things good,bad or indifferent. For what seems a horrible situation to us is really a test and if we just thanked God for the hardships, and meant it much greater rewards await us after the hard time passes.
It is a old saying in our home that no matter how bad things get Christ has never let us down. I want to share with you a true story about a true miracle. It was the day I learned that giving thanks in hard times lead to larger rewards one the test passes on. It was a Sunday and I was at Mass we were excited because the travelling Out Lady of Fatima Statue was at our Parish that day. The Mass was great and the procession was even better. I wanted to take some time to pray to our Lady of Fatima so I waited in line for my turn. During this time both my wife and I were awaiting our retirement to be finalized and money was tight. We had no money for milk,bread,butter we were flat broke and two months behind on the house and we had a week till we got some money in and all we had to eat was beans. Realistically we could have pulled through it would not have been easy but it could have been done. My turn came to kneel and pray before Our Lady of Fatima which I did. However my prayer was a prayer for thanks and not for what I needed. I thanked her for her intercessions and for all the great things her son had done for someone as insignificant as I. I thanked her for my great wife and kids my puppy dogs and for the joy I felt in my heart everyday. I then got up and left and expecting nothing more, My wife got up early that day and went to her computer and checked our bank account. She nearly gave me heart failure as she screamed to the top of her lungs. Our account didn't have the 2,98 she expected but instead had 15,002.98. With no letter of acceptance or any other kind of notice my wife's retirement annuity had come in. She was retired and we were able to pay everything back up to date and put food in the house. I regard this as another miracle of Our Lady of Fatima. While some scoff at the word miracle I don't. God will never let us down and Christ will do many things for his mother. So weather you think it was or not I hold to the stance it was a miracle.
So lets all of us try to remember to thank God in all things good, bad, or indifferent. Also if we have had a bad night or morning lets agree to not pass a bad day on to all we come in contact with. I in my very limited mind could never comprehend the goodness,mercy and love of God. It all seems so great to me and when I try to love Christ as much as he loves me I come up way short of the scale. To confront this fact is so depressing to me as I am shown both my insignificance as well as my lack of deserving for all that God does for me. It is said I am not worthy. When I look at myself through my eyes this insignificance shines as bright as the sun. Yet to see myself through his eyes is to rejoice in thankfulness with tears of appreciation at his mercy and grace that seems endless. So if you ever find yourself not being thankful for what God gave you stop. See how you look in God's eyes it will change your day. It will change your week and will change you life.
God Bless
Now I have one huge area where I am at my weakest point. I love electronics! Anything that is a electronic man toy I want and am just now coming to grips with this sin within me. Wait did I say sin? Yes I did. Wanting the latest technology in computers,cell phones or e-readers. when you have last years model is sin. It is akin to storing up treasures on Earth and will pull you away from your prayer life and in some ways it can pull you away from the most important thing in your life Christ himself. Now if you had read my posting yesterday I was doing just that when I wanted to trade up from my 6 inch screen kindle for the new kindle with a 9 inch screen. The first one cost me about 300 dollars 90 days ago by the time I bought all the do dads it needed. Then I saw the new,bigger and better Kindle total cost with do dads 450.00 with do dads and no book costs because I transferred them from my old to my new system. Now let us be honest 5 inch more screen and a little longer of battery life is no reason to buy this item.
Now I justified it by saying well it is easy to read and it can hold more books. Now let me be honest the smaller one was not that hard to read. I currently have 46 books on my kindle everything from The Canon of the Church to several versions of the Douay-Rheims Bible. several books by G.K. Chesterson all the way down to the Summa Theologica. I have enough books on my reader to keep me in reading material for several months. So why did I need more storage? It was a justification of the sin of want and desire not of the things of God but of Worldly goods. So you nor anybody else is alone in the battle of selfish interest and not seeking the ways of God. This is just a small section of the wide spectrum of time when we feel we either have it too hard, did not get what we deserved, received no understandings of our conditions and putting what we want in front of what God wants.
We all know what God does is for the good always if he is separated from you it is likely a test to see if you are ready to move to the next level of your relationship with him. But all to often we don't see this we pray.beg and swear to become a Priest or Nun if he would come back. Then the mind sets itself to self pity and all to soon nobody understands me. God by what he does always works for the good. He is God therefore he cannot do evil. He uses hard economic times to test and teach us. We don't see that but we complain harder than ever how hard we have it and how nobody understands what we are going through. Soon enough if we do not get out of this frame of mind comes depression pills and anxiety pills. Both because we brought it upon ourselves. Try this, the next time you hit a economic bump and you are having a hard time making your payments on your 3 bedroom home with 4 televisions in it, your two cars, satellite TV and enough food to get you by. Not enough to have the standards of dining you want, but enough to get by. I ask you to either think about or visit El Paso Texas and go to The University of Texas El Paso and stand in the south parking lot and look across the border and see what you see. You will see hundreds of shacks built out of cardboard with little cooking pipes sticking out of the tops. Every morning these pipes spew smoke into the morning air as breakfast is being prepared and I can assure you it is no where near the quality of food you eat or waste in a single day.
When we don't get everything just as we want it we complain stomp our feet and talk to whoever you can get a hold of like a dog. If you ever worked in a restaurant you've been on both sides of this one if you never had to work in a restaurant you don't know what that person is facing in their life. Perhaps she is a single Mother who is on her own because she refused to get a abortion like her family wanted. Her child was ill last night she makes minimum wage so she is on medicare and can't go to just any hospital. She got home at 4AM and had to be at work at 6AM afraid to call out sick because she may loose her job. Perhaps it was the man who last night at 11PM got a call that his best friend had been killed in Iraq and he went over to grieve and to comfort his friends parents because they were like Brothers growing up. He never got home he went straight from their house to work. Yet because a cherry was missing off their smiley face breakfast they get verbally beat in the dirt. Of course they would love to tell you what is going on but they can't (company policy) and as much as they would love to tell you just where to put that cherry when u get it, they have to just bow their heads because you have some issue that just made you mad.
Forgive the term you in this as I do not wish to accuse anybody as acting so. I use it to bring it into perspective so that if one day you are in the situation you may catch yourself and show more of God's love that your anger. Even the day God made for us we complain about it either it is too hot or too cold. We want to move out of the state that we live in and move to another state either because we like it there better or we can escape some problems by moving. Often although we claim the first the real reason is the second. We want what we don't have and have no use for what we do. There is the point of it all. We go to Mass and listen to statements time after time how God gives us all we need and we nod our heads like those little bobble head dogs you see in car windows. It leaves our heads just a second after we hear it and it is gone. We thank God for little in our lives yet complain about almost anything. Is our generation so selfish that we have forgotten who gives us all good things and declare them not good enough for us.
My wife always gets upset with me at restaurants because if the order is not right I don't complain. I just eat it as is and I am happy. The only time I will remind my server is if a drink or a main meal is missing. However I am NEVER rude. It is number one against my nature (thank heavens I fall way to short of God's path than to have another issue added) number two I have been there restaurant work is difficult and the average waitress or waiter in a Denny's or IHOP or Village Inn make (unless they have a law like New Mexico) make just over 3 dollars a hour because the Government says they make the rest on tips to make up the difference between that and minimum wage.
One of the first and hardest things to do is to give up what we own and be happy with what Christ has given us. I read somewhere that God destines some to be rich and others to be poor. The poor ones are blessed as they never have to deal with the issue of wealth. Now when I say give up what we own I mean it in the terms of not giving inn to our desires for possessions as it is not likely anybody could sell all he owns and have his family on the street. I often think back to that 398 dollar Kindle and hang my head in shame. 328 Dollars could have done allot at a battered woman's home or at a rescue mission or to buy groceries for somebody in need. We have to learn to thank God for ALL things good,bad or indifferent. For what seems a horrible situation to us is really a test and if we just thanked God for the hardships, and meant it much greater rewards await us after the hard time passes.
It is a old saying in our home that no matter how bad things get Christ has never let us down. I want to share with you a true story about a true miracle. It was the day I learned that giving thanks in hard times lead to larger rewards one the test passes on. It was a Sunday and I was at Mass we were excited because the travelling Out Lady of Fatima Statue was at our Parish that day. The Mass was great and the procession was even better. I wanted to take some time to pray to our Lady of Fatima so I waited in line for my turn. During this time both my wife and I were awaiting our retirement to be finalized and money was tight. We had no money for milk,bread,butter we were flat broke and two months behind on the house and we had a week till we got some money in and all we had to eat was beans. Realistically we could have pulled through it would not have been easy but it could have been done. My turn came to kneel and pray before Our Lady of Fatima which I did. However my prayer was a prayer for thanks and not for what I needed. I thanked her for her intercessions and for all the great things her son had done for someone as insignificant as I. I thanked her for my great wife and kids my puppy dogs and for the joy I felt in my heart everyday. I then got up and left and expecting nothing more, My wife got up early that day and went to her computer and checked our bank account. She nearly gave me heart failure as she screamed to the top of her lungs. Our account didn't have the 2,98 she expected but instead had 15,002.98. With no letter of acceptance or any other kind of notice my wife's retirement annuity had come in. She was retired and we were able to pay everything back up to date and put food in the house. I regard this as another miracle of Our Lady of Fatima. While some scoff at the word miracle I don't. God will never let us down and Christ will do many things for his mother. So weather you think it was or not I hold to the stance it was a miracle.
So lets all of us try to remember to thank God in all things good, bad, or indifferent. Also if we have had a bad night or morning lets agree to not pass a bad day on to all we come in contact with. I in my very limited mind could never comprehend the goodness,mercy and love of God. It all seems so great to me and when I try to love Christ as much as he loves me I come up way short of the scale. To confront this fact is so depressing to me as I am shown both my insignificance as well as my lack of deserving for all that God does for me. It is said I am not worthy. When I look at myself through my eyes this insignificance shines as bright as the sun. Yet to see myself through his eyes is to rejoice in thankfulness with tears of appreciation at his mercy and grace that seems endless. So if you ever find yourself not being thankful for what God gave you stop. See how you look in God's eyes it will change your day. It will change your week and will change you life.
God Bless
lying is a sin! Especially when we lie to ourselves.
People tend to be a bit touchy in this area because more often than not the habit is so inbreed in our Psyche that we can't admit it. Some are worse than others and some are better than others. It is the same idea about riches in this world God made some rich and some poor each in accordance to his mission in life. Often it goes like this "Mom Mrs. Davis is on the phone about cookies for the RCIA class this weekend". "Dang I don't have time. tell her I am not here. A lie is a sin, and within the Catholic faith we have Mortal and venial sins. However you slice it a lie is still a sin. However we have a amazing capacity to tell ourselves "Well it was just a little white lie". We have taken our sin and justified it or made the offense by our standards less than it is. We go trotting off to Mass and take Communion and bring destruction of ourselves due to the fact that most confession heart exams list a lie as a Mortal sin.
Why we do this is the question. Is our rebellious natures coming out of hiding or is it deeper? By this I mean could it be that we become more subject to denial in a effort not to recognize our own sins. Therefore we maintain what is to us our perfect record of non-sinfulness. In reality we have brought our record of sins and just keep stacking one upon the other. This in our society is at a epidemic rate beyond all imagination. It is even taught in our schools nobody is wrong and nobody is right. If you cheat on a test it is because issues in your formative years that are just coming home to roost. We see all to often a major public or religious leader get on TV and cry his heart out about how sleeping with a 15 year old girl really is not his fault. He is sick and needs counselling to overcome his weakness. The term sin is never used because he has justified his action by calling it a illness not a sin.
A Mother kills her two children by drowning them in the tub and presto! It is not murder it is not even sin instead it is depression caused by her recent child she gave birth to. These stories run the gauntlet from A to Z and always are due to a illness be it mental or physical or we did it because we could not avoid it from happening. Let you and I be honest with each other. Have you ever been in a situation where you could not avoid sin? If you say yes you might want to rethink your answer even if attacked you could run away. The real problem is if you or I say there was no way to avoiding sin in this situation we have done what we have learned so readily to do. We denied our sin and then justified it so it was no longer sin. In the process we have also made our old enemy Satan very happy.
Actions however are not the only thing we justify. I mean here you are sitting in Mass and it is running a little long due to the Priest being a little long winded. You think rats! Here it is 11:30 and the game started at 11:00. Man I really want to know what my Cowboys are doing in this game. Dang to close up front to turn on my cell phone and check out the web. Man I cannot believe this guy is still talking! Now finally Mass has ended and you have just broken the world record 100 yard dash so you can find out the score of the game. You dash by your friends who were attending the Catholic Mass for the first time and wanted to ask you a question that confused them. You then vault over three little old ladies in their walkers. trample two children because that score is more important to you than the Mass you were attending. You left early right after Communion and left your friends think that at Mass you don't want anybody to know you know them. Come Monday morning it is all the talk how the Cowboys lost in the last seconds of the game and you spend all Monday getting teased about your team. The incident at Church? Forgotten by 6PM after a dinner and a beer. What makes the saddest of all you have just put a football game over God and never admit to yourself that sin. If you don't figure it out sometime soon and you are called home, You wind up in Hell over a football game. Sound too fantastic to believe? If football season happens this year keep your eyes open.
It is hard to imagine this happening but it does daily and we don't even think it is a sin because we know how they should act and dress in Mass. And look they don't even put anything in the collection plate! What is their problem? They are not the problem, it is the one who is judging them that is the problem. There is one thing however one thing I am positive of. Jesus hears their prayers well ahead of theirs and offers them more graces than you can imagine. Did I just judge? No because by Jesus own words what I have said is true. There is a reason why in the book An Imitation of Christ it says to say as little as possible because if we talk less we sin less. This is not a overstatement but a statement of fact. If we guard out tongues and minds sin cannot get at us but we must be on guard at all times. I can say to you in all honesty I love the book An Imitation of Christ even though it clearly shows me the many many miles I have still to go before I would ever reach a point of possible going to spend eternity with Christ. If you don't own one get one and read it. You see allot of yourself in there and it is eye opening, but someday when you reach Heaven you may just think to yourself "Man I am glad I read that book". Be kind and giving to one another and I wish a blessing to all who read this upon their homes and families.
God Bless
Why we do this is the question. Is our rebellious natures coming out of hiding or is it deeper? By this I mean could it be that we become more subject to denial in a effort not to recognize our own sins. Therefore we maintain what is to us our perfect record of non-sinfulness. In reality we have brought our record of sins and just keep stacking one upon the other. This in our society is at a epidemic rate beyond all imagination. It is even taught in our schools nobody is wrong and nobody is right. If you cheat on a test it is because issues in your formative years that are just coming home to roost. We see all to often a major public or religious leader get on TV and cry his heart out about how sleeping with a 15 year old girl really is not his fault. He is sick and needs counselling to overcome his weakness. The term sin is never used because he has justified his action by calling it a illness not a sin.
A Mother kills her two children by drowning them in the tub and presto! It is not murder it is not even sin instead it is depression caused by her recent child she gave birth to. These stories run the gauntlet from A to Z and always are due to a illness be it mental or physical or we did it because we could not avoid it from happening. Let you and I be honest with each other. Have you ever been in a situation where you could not avoid sin? If you say yes you might want to rethink your answer even if attacked you could run away. The real problem is if you or I say there was no way to avoiding sin in this situation we have done what we have learned so readily to do. We denied our sin and then justified it so it was no longer sin. In the process we have also made our old enemy Satan very happy.
Actions however are not the only thing we justify. I mean here you are sitting in Mass and it is running a little long due to the Priest being a little long winded. You think rats! Here it is 11:30 and the game started at 11:00. Man I really want to know what my Cowboys are doing in this game. Dang to close up front to turn on my cell phone and check out the web. Man I cannot believe this guy is still talking! Now finally Mass has ended and you have just broken the world record 100 yard dash so you can find out the score of the game. You dash by your friends who were attending the Catholic Mass for the first time and wanted to ask you a question that confused them. You then vault over three little old ladies in their walkers. trample two children because that score is more important to you than the Mass you were attending. You left early right after Communion and left your friends think that at Mass you don't want anybody to know you know them. Come Monday morning it is all the talk how the Cowboys lost in the last seconds of the game and you spend all Monday getting teased about your team. The incident at Church? Forgotten by 6PM after a dinner and a beer. What makes the saddest of all you have just put a football game over God and never admit to yourself that sin. If you don't figure it out sometime soon and you are called home, You wind up in Hell over a football game. Sound too fantastic to believe? If football season happens this year keep your eyes open.
It is hard to imagine this happening but it does daily and we don't even think it is a sin because we know how they should act and dress in Mass. And look they don't even put anything in the collection plate! What is their problem? They are not the problem, it is the one who is judging them that is the problem. There is one thing however one thing I am positive of. Jesus hears their prayers well ahead of theirs and offers them more graces than you can imagine. Did I just judge? No because by Jesus own words what I have said is true. There is a reason why in the book An Imitation of Christ it says to say as little as possible because if we talk less we sin less. This is not a overstatement but a statement of fact. If we guard out tongues and minds sin cannot get at us but we must be on guard at all times. I can say to you in all honesty I love the book An Imitation of Christ even though it clearly shows me the many many miles I have still to go before I would ever reach a point of possible going to spend eternity with Christ. If you don't own one get one and read it. You see allot of yourself in there and it is eye opening, but someday when you reach Heaven you may just think to yourself "Man I am glad I read that book". Be kind and giving to one another and I wish a blessing to all who read this upon their homes and families.
God Bless
Saturday, July 23, 2011
Trusting in God above all things
First let me offer my deepest condolences and prayers for those in Norway who lost their lives and for those wounded as well as the families. It is a sad event in our time that some despicable pigs target children in a war of ideologies. It would be great as some suggest to sit and talk but these people are taught to hate at birth and sadly only understand killing and force. I realize that the Churches opinion lies in the hope of talks and peace, It is hard to believe this to be realistic as I believe this is a war of religion and not political beliefs if you will it is akin to the crusades with a 21st century twist.
In a world where pornography,terrorism,child abuse,abortion and hatred seem to rein supreme over all things it is sometimes difficult to remember that it is Christ who reins over all things and always had and always will. One of the reasons I began this blog was to maintain some sort of unknown status so that pride will never become a factor. In the world in which we live it is difficult to maintain humility or even piety as when you do something it is often recognized verbally as well as openly praised almost right away. This may not have been your original reasons for doing a good deed but if there is no praise there is always a tiny spot in your mind that wonders why. If you are praised and you refuse to accept the praise or award you become quickly accused of being prideful anyways because you seem stuck up to a point.
So what kind of things can you do to serve God and still retain total animosity. Skip a meal a day. This act if every person were to do it and did not waste any food what so ever could in fact feed millions across this land and around the world. This year our Government spent 2.6 billion dollars to teach Chinese prostitutes to drink more responsibly. This is no joke it did happen and sits on many sites that describe wasteful spending. How many homes could be built and sold at a lower or even a no profit cost to our homeless veterans or to a single parent who chose life over abortion of their child. I cannot put a price on one life but I can say that their is nothing more important to me that one life. This year our Government spent 46 billion dollars to upgrade it's employees plane tickets from coach to business class. To make matters worse it is against the rules to upgrade a ticket from coach to business or first class seating yet it still is done everyday. What happens to those who break the rules nothing, It is one of many areas that is given a silent wink and a nod.
So what could be done for the good of humanity with 46 billion dollars? I really do not have a answer but I am working on one as when God asks why a nation he blessed with so much gave so little. In our country we eat more, use more fuel. use more resources and have the fewest programs or ideas how we might save some of these for the future. Now I know I sound like a Socialist or a Liberal of some kind but trust me I am not. I am Conservative as that I will support no candidate who supports abortion and after four years if they didn't at least try to bring abortion to a end, out they go!
So you might be thinking right now what does this have to do with trusting God above all things. Well let me enlighten you. Right now many thoughts are on the possibility of our country defaulting on it's debt. How did we get here? If you look at certain wasteful spending practices have allot to do with selfishness rather than helping people. Upgraded plane ticket charged to the taxpayer cha-ching 46 billion down the tubes. Putting more sand on our beaches ch-ching 3 million tax payer dollars gone.
These are done for very selfish reasons. Beaches erode they have to have sand. They had sand long before we got here and it is safe to say they were eroding then. God had control of that. 46 billion dollars for a extra six inches of space this alone is selfish beyond compare. We got here in this crisis that is all over the news and people are freaking over due to selfish desires. A Congressman introduces a bill to study if puppies can fly for 36 million dollars. The company who tries to study this says they need three years to figure it out so it becomes 108 million dollars. What does the congressman get? A fat juicy contribution to his campaign and a consulting job after he leaves office for 30 million a year.
We want comfort because it pleases us. We do not put a end to it because it is as much a part of our society as baseball. The simplest of facts is we did not trust God to see to our nations needs we trusted ourselves, and the more comfy we got the more we wanted soon it was out of control. If we lose our jobs and can't pay bills the first words out of a married couples lips are "What are we going to do?" After that and only after a period of time do we offer it up to God to handle. God does NOT want to hurt us he wants us to get our eyes off of self and on to him. Trusting God in all things means just that, trusting him in all things. A great prayer I read went something like this. Dear God do with me what you will for better or for worse in regards to me let it bring you glory and worship and if it is for the good let me rejoice in you and if it be for evil let me rejoice in that in testing me I grow stronger in you. From 1776 when we won a revolution against all odds to 1861 when we eliminated from this land the crime of slavery. To the great depression when just prior there was money everywhere and all lived well. It soon became a living nightmare as we for the first time began taking our eyes off Christ because intellectuals thought it improper to worship a God that to them did not exist. After years of starvation,home loss and the loss of our creature comforts to include a world war for the second time we finally moved back to family morals and looked to Christ. Then came the 1960's and the cheer went God is dead and our society was locked in a death grip struggle over many things to include abortion, two wage earning parents in the home, kids left to watch TV as it kept them out of underfoot. We took God out of schools,Christmas and anywhere the existed a government function that origins were based on our founding fathers who based their decisions on God.
We used to begin our day with a thanks to God in all things and judged it to be a good or bad day as to how our crops were doing or how hard we worked at our jobs. Today most don't even that God for what he does for us and we base our day to be good or bad by how much we made, who we messed over or what was on TV. Want to see a man get upset beyond belief and destroy his whole day? Hide his TV remote. He will look and get frustrated and begin to yell in no time at all. Yet as much as our own comforts have climbed to the top of the heap our ability to justify sin has become even greater. Today 80 people (many who were children) died today in Norway due to a attack by a claimed Islamic terrorist group. Norway has never in any way been involved with Iran or Afghanistan yet they were targeted by a group that justifies it as a war against western failures to bow to the Islamic society demands, Stop the world I wanna get off. Lord I know I am deserving of Hell and would consider even Purgatory to be a lucky break. Still no matter your just judgement I say come Lord come.
God Bless
In a world where pornography,terrorism,child abuse,abortion and hatred seem to rein supreme over all things it is sometimes difficult to remember that it is Christ who reins over all things and always had and always will. One of the reasons I began this blog was to maintain some sort of unknown status so that pride will never become a factor. In the world in which we live it is difficult to maintain humility or even piety as when you do something it is often recognized verbally as well as openly praised almost right away. This may not have been your original reasons for doing a good deed but if there is no praise there is always a tiny spot in your mind that wonders why. If you are praised and you refuse to accept the praise or award you become quickly accused of being prideful anyways because you seem stuck up to a point.
So what kind of things can you do to serve God and still retain total animosity. Skip a meal a day. This act if every person were to do it and did not waste any food what so ever could in fact feed millions across this land and around the world. This year our Government spent 2.6 billion dollars to teach Chinese prostitutes to drink more responsibly. This is no joke it did happen and sits on many sites that describe wasteful spending. How many homes could be built and sold at a lower or even a no profit cost to our homeless veterans or to a single parent who chose life over abortion of their child. I cannot put a price on one life but I can say that their is nothing more important to me that one life. This year our Government spent 46 billion dollars to upgrade it's employees plane tickets from coach to business class. To make matters worse it is against the rules to upgrade a ticket from coach to business or first class seating yet it still is done everyday. What happens to those who break the rules nothing, It is one of many areas that is given a silent wink and a nod.
So what could be done for the good of humanity with 46 billion dollars? I really do not have a answer but I am working on one as when God asks why a nation he blessed with so much gave so little. In our country we eat more, use more fuel. use more resources and have the fewest programs or ideas how we might save some of these for the future. Now I know I sound like a Socialist or a Liberal of some kind but trust me I am not. I am Conservative as that I will support no candidate who supports abortion and after four years if they didn't at least try to bring abortion to a end, out they go!
So you might be thinking right now what does this have to do with trusting God above all things. Well let me enlighten you. Right now many thoughts are on the possibility of our country defaulting on it's debt. How did we get here? If you look at certain wasteful spending practices have allot to do with selfishness rather than helping people. Upgraded plane ticket charged to the taxpayer cha-ching 46 billion down the tubes. Putting more sand on our beaches ch-ching 3 million tax payer dollars gone.
These are done for very selfish reasons. Beaches erode they have to have sand. They had sand long before we got here and it is safe to say they were eroding then. God had control of that. 46 billion dollars for a extra six inches of space this alone is selfish beyond compare. We got here in this crisis that is all over the news and people are freaking over due to selfish desires. A Congressman introduces a bill to study if puppies can fly for 36 million dollars. The company who tries to study this says they need three years to figure it out so it becomes 108 million dollars. What does the congressman get? A fat juicy contribution to his campaign and a consulting job after he leaves office for 30 million a year.
We want comfort because it pleases us. We do not put a end to it because it is as much a part of our society as baseball. The simplest of facts is we did not trust God to see to our nations needs we trusted ourselves, and the more comfy we got the more we wanted soon it was out of control. If we lose our jobs and can't pay bills the first words out of a married couples lips are "What are we going to do?" After that and only after a period of time do we offer it up to God to handle. God does NOT want to hurt us he wants us to get our eyes off of self and on to him. Trusting God in all things means just that, trusting him in all things. A great prayer I read went something like this. Dear God do with me what you will for better or for worse in regards to me let it bring you glory and worship and if it is for the good let me rejoice in you and if it be for evil let me rejoice in that in testing me I grow stronger in you. From 1776 when we won a revolution against all odds to 1861 when we eliminated from this land the crime of slavery. To the great depression when just prior there was money everywhere and all lived well. It soon became a living nightmare as we for the first time began taking our eyes off Christ because intellectuals thought it improper to worship a God that to them did not exist. After years of starvation,home loss and the loss of our creature comforts to include a world war for the second time we finally moved back to family morals and looked to Christ. Then came the 1960's and the cheer went God is dead and our society was locked in a death grip struggle over many things to include abortion, two wage earning parents in the home, kids left to watch TV as it kept them out of underfoot. We took God out of schools,Christmas and anywhere the existed a government function that origins were based on our founding fathers who based their decisions on God.
We used to begin our day with a thanks to God in all things and judged it to be a good or bad day as to how our crops were doing or how hard we worked at our jobs. Today most don't even that God for what he does for us and we base our day to be good or bad by how much we made, who we messed over or what was on TV. Want to see a man get upset beyond belief and destroy his whole day? Hide his TV remote. He will look and get frustrated and begin to yell in no time at all. Yet as much as our own comforts have climbed to the top of the heap our ability to justify sin has become even greater. Today 80 people (many who were children) died today in Norway due to a attack by a claimed Islamic terrorist group. Norway has never in any way been involved with Iran or Afghanistan yet they were targeted by a group that justifies it as a war against western failures to bow to the Islamic society demands, Stop the world I wanna get off. Lord I know I am deserving of Hell and would consider even Purgatory to be a lucky break. Still no matter your just judgement I say come Lord come.
God Bless
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
The end of the search part III
So I had planned how I was going to kill them but as I was unable to get on Postal Property to do so. This made things a lot harder as now you would have to get them on route or at home and I really didn't know where they lived. My wife took over the driving as I was told by my Doctor not to drive. I began seeing a Mental Health Councillor as well as a psychologist who administered two tests. The tests were a PAI and a MMPI these test were supposed to be fool proof so I took it as gospel when the results came in. As I was told earlier each test showed severe depression, severe Anxiety and one thing I had not counted on. In the mental health world as well as everyday life the hardest thing mentally to deal with is believe it or not a injustice that you have no way to fight back on or even get closure on it. I didn't know it then but it is somewhat like the Military soldier who sees his buddies die. He can't change it or fix it so he gets like a guilt syndrome or a survivors syndrome. This created anger and more and more hatred. By the time you have a clue what is up you have PTSD.
PTSD can lead to self destructive behavior, marital issues and inability to deal with the world as it is. In other words he withdraws from everything around him and in major cases hallucinations and hearing voices can be included. However the term PTSD is only just getting off the ground and many do not realize it is a permanent condition. It never goes away. It survives off of triggers. We have all heard the stories of Vietnam Veterans upon hearing a helicopter or a loud bang they throw themselves to the ground and either get highly angry of scared to a state of total dysfunction. My medications were increased as I attempted to attack a mail man who had come up from behind me and slapped down some mail on the counter in the store we were in. My wife and 20 year old son had to nearly tackle me as I went into a violent frenzy. These were my triggers Mail Carriers and mail trucks. To this very day I ride in the passenger seat of our vehicle and cover my eyes with a towel to block my vision.
The symptoms got worse and worse as I withdrew from all things outside my home. In a word I was creating a safe zone. Then in April the condition got allot worse. In mid April I awoke for a sleep in the area of 3am. Never in my life not in this lifetime could I explain the fear I felt. It was paralyzing. I had in my mind at the time one option. I was convinced that the only way to end the terror was to kill myself. I had no idea where I was at. Wanting to escape the fear I took my 9mm out of the drawer and placed it to my head. At that moment I did realize I was in my bedroom and managed to put the weapon down and spend the next 15 minutes trying ti calm down. Once I had calmed down I began to realize just how serious and how deep I was into these issues.
I spent the next five months having similar panic attacks as well as there was a great deal of treatment by a psychologist,psychiatrist and a mental health counsellor. I still wanted to kill those who had hurt me as well as those friends of mine who turned their back on me. One night in July I kept getting a feeling a steady and strong feeling. It was telling me "Thou shalt not kill". I tried my best to ignore it as that is not what I wanted to hear. By mid July I had given up on the idea of killing these people. The feeling finally left me much to my happiness. However as July went to August I got restless as a new feeling was overcoming me. This feeling was same as the other but it was saying "You have got to go back. I almost knew from the start what this meant or at least I thought I knew. So I packed up the family and went back to Colorado to visit where I grew up to try and find what I was looking for. However I did not find it and returned home disappointed. I knew I could never be healed but I could fond a way to make peace within myself and those who harmed me.
I began by now a serious historical and traditions orientated study to find God. I was determined as I felt inside it was him I needed most. I studied nearly 3 hours a day and prayed a additional 2 hours. However no matter how I sliced it the same answer came up, the first church was the Catholic Church. Not only that, but as I prayed and studied the Catholic Bible I found that forgiveness,mercy and most of all peace of mind. I decided to attend a Catholic Church and and asked my family one by one if they wanted to go with me. My first trip there was a little weird as I had forgotten allot of what we were supposed to say. I noticed two things right off the Priest who celebrated Mass was wearing jeans under his robes and there was not a expensive sports car in sight. Something else was there also a feeling of peace.
I actually feel in love with being at Mass because being there meant peace and a feeling of safety. I soon made a appointment with The Monsignor spoke with me and said as I had already had my first Communion Sacrament I could go to a Mass of Reconciliation and then after a very deep study of self I went to confession and took Communion for the first time in over 35 years. To say I left the confessional crying was a major understatement I had a ton of sin on me and it was now lifted for the first time in forever.I was cleaned and then decided I had allot to learn about the church and 35 years of being away so I signed up for a RCIA class. My family joined me as they fell in love with the Catholic faith almost immediately. Today we are Catholics who are strong in our faith and ever joyful that we are where we are. We wish to serve Christ in anyway possible. My two oldest sons are third degree Knights in the Knights of Columbus.While I was fortunate enough to get my 4th Degree Knight in June.
It is said the Christ will use bad things to accomplish his will. My wife and I feel firm in our belief that God used allot of bad to get me back where I belonged. As of today I have long since forgave those who hurt me and sought forgiveness for my wanting to kill. The PTSD is still there and as I am told always will be. However I know I am home and want nothing more to glorify God by my words and actions.and bring him honor as I strive to maintain humility in our home. My family is now stronger and The Catholic Church with the help of The Holy Ghost has changed our lives forever.
To anyone who reads this and still feels separation from God, pray and love and then pray some more you will find the Christ is faithful to be there as soon as he can. How much I have changed could be measured by one event. Avery old friend of mine from Okinawa found me on the Internet, We talked and he decided to come down to see us. He arrived and it was like nothing ever changed, as his wife put it "they looked like they were picking up a conversation from yesterday not 23 years ago. The truth was however I had changed my language my mannerisms and my entire way of life changed. Sadly he expected the very same person 23 years ago. But that person died in Christ and was never coming back. He asked what happened to me and I explained about the Church and he decided to go home early. sadly I have not heard from him since.
Forgive me for this long three day story but I feel how the prodigal son within us comes to himself and finds his way home is a very valuable witness. God actually does have mercy and grace in abundance and he is waiting for somebody else to come home. I pray he will find the love and forgiveness I did.
God Bless.
PTSD can lead to self destructive behavior, marital issues and inability to deal with the world as it is. In other words he withdraws from everything around him and in major cases hallucinations and hearing voices can be included. However the term PTSD is only just getting off the ground and many do not realize it is a permanent condition. It never goes away. It survives off of triggers. We have all heard the stories of Vietnam Veterans upon hearing a helicopter or a loud bang they throw themselves to the ground and either get highly angry of scared to a state of total dysfunction. My medications were increased as I attempted to attack a mail man who had come up from behind me and slapped down some mail on the counter in the store we were in. My wife and 20 year old son had to nearly tackle me as I went into a violent frenzy. These were my triggers Mail Carriers and mail trucks. To this very day I ride in the passenger seat of our vehicle and cover my eyes with a towel to block my vision.
The symptoms got worse and worse as I withdrew from all things outside my home. In a word I was creating a safe zone. Then in April the condition got allot worse. In mid April I awoke for a sleep in the area of 3am. Never in my life not in this lifetime could I explain the fear I felt. It was paralyzing. I had in my mind at the time one option. I was convinced that the only way to end the terror was to kill myself. I had no idea where I was at. Wanting to escape the fear I took my 9mm out of the drawer and placed it to my head. At that moment I did realize I was in my bedroom and managed to put the weapon down and spend the next 15 minutes trying ti calm down. Once I had calmed down I began to realize just how serious and how deep I was into these issues.
I spent the next five months having similar panic attacks as well as there was a great deal of treatment by a psychologist,psychiatrist and a mental health counsellor. I still wanted to kill those who had hurt me as well as those friends of mine who turned their back on me. One night in July I kept getting a feeling a steady and strong feeling. It was telling me "Thou shalt not kill". I tried my best to ignore it as that is not what I wanted to hear. By mid July I had given up on the idea of killing these people. The feeling finally left me much to my happiness. However as July went to August I got restless as a new feeling was overcoming me. This feeling was same as the other but it was saying "You have got to go back. I almost knew from the start what this meant or at least I thought I knew. So I packed up the family and went back to Colorado to visit where I grew up to try and find what I was looking for. However I did not find it and returned home disappointed. I knew I could never be healed but I could fond a way to make peace within myself and those who harmed me.
I began by now a serious historical and traditions orientated study to find God. I was determined as I felt inside it was him I needed most. I studied nearly 3 hours a day and prayed a additional 2 hours. However no matter how I sliced it the same answer came up, the first church was the Catholic Church. Not only that, but as I prayed and studied the Catholic Bible I found that forgiveness,mercy and most of all peace of mind. I decided to attend a Catholic Church and and asked my family one by one if they wanted to go with me. My first trip there was a little weird as I had forgotten allot of what we were supposed to say. I noticed two things right off the Priest who celebrated Mass was wearing jeans under his robes and there was not a expensive sports car in sight. Something else was there also a feeling of peace.
I actually feel in love with being at Mass because being there meant peace and a feeling of safety. I soon made a appointment with The Monsignor spoke with me and said as I had already had my first Communion Sacrament I could go to a Mass of Reconciliation and then after a very deep study of self I went to confession and took Communion for the first time in over 35 years. To say I left the confessional crying was a major understatement I had a ton of sin on me and it was now lifted for the first time in forever.I was cleaned and then decided I had allot to learn about the church and 35 years of being away so I signed up for a RCIA class. My family joined me as they fell in love with the Catholic faith almost immediately. Today we are Catholics who are strong in our faith and ever joyful that we are where we are. We wish to serve Christ in anyway possible. My two oldest sons are third degree Knights in the Knights of Columbus.While I was fortunate enough to get my 4th Degree Knight in June.
It is said the Christ will use bad things to accomplish his will. My wife and I feel firm in our belief that God used allot of bad to get me back where I belonged. As of today I have long since forgave those who hurt me and sought forgiveness for my wanting to kill. The PTSD is still there and as I am told always will be. However I know I am home and want nothing more to glorify God by my words and actions.and bring him honor as I strive to maintain humility in our home. My family is now stronger and The Catholic Church with the help of The Holy Ghost has changed our lives forever.
To anyone who reads this and still feels separation from God, pray and love and then pray some more you will find the Christ is faithful to be there as soon as he can. How much I have changed could be measured by one event. Avery old friend of mine from Okinawa found me on the Internet, We talked and he decided to come down to see us. He arrived and it was like nothing ever changed, as his wife put it "they looked like they were picking up a conversation from yesterday not 23 years ago. The truth was however I had changed my language my mannerisms and my entire way of life changed. Sadly he expected the very same person 23 years ago. But that person died in Christ and was never coming back. He asked what happened to me and I explained about the Church and he decided to go home early. sadly I have not heard from him since.
Forgive me for this long three day story but I feel how the prodigal son within us comes to himself and finds his way home is a very valuable witness. God actually does have mercy and grace in abundance and he is waiting for somebody else to come home. I pray he will find the love and forgiveness I did.
God Bless.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)