As with everyone we all come upon a time in our lives as Catholics when Christ does not feel so near. This can catch you at any time but is most common to new believers. During this time you don't feel the presence of God through the Holy Ghost as you once did. This may have many causes but two causes seem to be prevalent either it is sin or it is a test from God. Either way these times can have a dramatic effect upon a Catholic believer if he is not prepared. Now you can say what you want but as the old saying goes ya gotta be there to understand.
During these times your first thought is confusion as you try to figure what happened to the closeness with Christ and why it is suddenly not there. The next stage is the "what did I do phase". This is a time of self examination at such an deep and caustic level you almost always count out the idea of a test. You immediately turn to yourself and begin to accuse yourself for being at fault for everything from the loss of your relationship to God to the global warming crisis everybody talks about. You become frustrated and at times stubborn and your prayer life begins to fall off.
Now at this point you have set your time for the long climb back. You have to start from scratch re- disciplining yourself to pray and to attend Mass etc... This is harder than you think as that Satan will keep you nice and busy with everything from Doctor visits and illness to keep you off your balance and keep you physically run down to keep you away from prayer. This is where the real fight begins. We all know that we are not as tough as our 1870 era relatives. They ate better, they worked harder and prayed allot more. So what to us might seem as a disastrous sickness would have been seen back then as nothing. Headaches are my killers, having suffered a heat stroke injury during military training anytime it gets to a 90+ degree day I get headaches due to heat. They seem to be crippling but when I look at them and be honest with myself they are not enough to keep me from watching television or being on my computer. So why should it prevent us from going to church? Often what happens is with such minor annoyances make us tired and if you live in the Southwest as I do 90 plus days can also sap your energy. So now the issue is tired NOT a headache, and all too often it becomes the real reason we stay away and not the illness that we would shake off in a second if we wanted to.
If not addressed right away it will continue to drag your spiritual life down until you fight. So how do we fight? First you must accept on faith that it is not you. If you try this and continue to have issues go to reconciliation Mass and relieve yourself of whatever sin you may think it to be. Once you have a clean conscience as well as some prayer time you will find it is a test. As stated earlier this is a tough point to reach because in our humility as Catholics we tend to accept responsibility for issues that hit our spiritual life or we go to panic mode and end up at the same spot. Prayer is essential here and you must pray in such a manner that you will not be disturbed and you can seek a close time with God. Remember feelings can and will fool you, never trust a feeling until you have really checked it out. This is a little something that allot tend to forget. Some prayers that are essential is to meditate on the Passion, the Rosary as well as the Chaplet of divine mercy. You can do more but these three I really do recommend. Also get your Guardian Angel and Saint going with you and as always ask for the intercession of Our Holy Mother Mary.
Keep praying above all if you stop it will be difficult to get that discipline you once had back. As in the Parable you don't want to be that seed that never had a chance to take root. God is merciful and forgiving beyond measure. He has sufficient grace to forgive and will not fail to do so even if you are away for awhile, We however do not want to use this as a justification to say "well I'll worry about it later. Prayer as you might have guessed can cure almost anything from a doubting faith to a lost faith. How I wish more would realize this as they go through the journey God has set before them. So much pain and loss can be avoided it we only prayed more and worried less. As you pray for a closer bind with Christ you will find in time it will return and probably never left as it was just a dry spell you were feeling. Now I know some will say "earlier you said it could be sin or a test now you say it has never really left and it was a feeling. The truth being it can be any of the three because allot depends on how you experience it.
The rule is pray always pray, even when Christ seems far far away pray and you will be heard. Christ loves you no matter your situation or your standing. He sees no race,color or creed. He loves all and wishes they would all come to him and find eternal happiness in his coming kingdom. Don't be afraid to say anything to Christ he is with you 24/7 and knows everything so why try to fool him. He will forgive all you need do is seek his endless forgiveness. It was said of Padre Pio that he was praying at all times his duties (saying mass) did not prevent him from doing so. It was said that he would walk down the halls of the monestary and hold conversations with his Guardian Angel. This is how tightly he was wired into Christ! While sadly we cannot spend every minute of our day in prayer due to work and other commitments we can spend perhaps a hour or two talking with our greatest friend. While we know we are nothing without him and it is grace and forgivenessthat we get to his kingdom. He sees us as treasures he created and loves and aches to have us all turn to him in repentance and prayer.
Such is not the council of evil, but the council of life. Seek Christ in all things remember he died so that you may be forgiven he rose so that you may have eternal life. He has not forgotten you and only wishes that you seek him and let him know you have not forgotten or rejected him. There is a knocking at the door. Will you answer?
God Bless you and peace to all the houses of those who read this.
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